10 Ways Laptops Are Like Women

angryManLaptop 10 Ways Laptops Are Like Women Many people wonder why we attribute a female gender to ships, cars and even countries, as we tend to refer to them as “she.”

Personally, I like to think that the reason for this is simply because men love them. Nothing sexist about that at all.

However, there are some people out there — most of them women I must confess — who claim these are called “she” because men like to have control over them. I argue that’s just a bunch of drivel. Name me a ship or a car or a country that won’t punish you if you don’t treat it with the necessary care and attention. It’s just not possible. So who’s really calling the shots?

If cars were completely under control there would be no bumps and bashes on the roads. If ships were fully under control there would be no sunken wrecks. If countries were fully dominated there would be no wars.

Yes, women have been and many remain oppressed. That’s unacceptable, regrettable and a bunch of other -ables, but we’ve made and will continue to make a lot of progress.

Men and women may be equal when it comes to quality, but they are not the same, no matter what anyone might say. Apart from the obvious physical differences, there are some advantages women have over men.

Generally speaking, women live longer than men. Some studies show women cope better with pain then men, too (perhaps it’s from going through something painful every month – I’ll leave it at that). Fewer diseases affect just women.

Think about it. It’s a compliment of the highest order to refer to anything as female.

And so, it doesn’t take a genius to work out that laptops are like women. And here’s 10 reasons why:

1. Physical attributes

Woman and Laptop Laptops come in all different shapes, sizes and textures, just like women. Some are slender and ultra light whereas others are more chunky and rugged.

You’ll find some with curves in all the right places and others with long, straight lines.

You can find many that are perfectly smooth to the touch; others are a bit rough around the edges.

No matter what sort of man you are there’s a laptop to suit your personality whether that’s a larger model, full of surprises, or a neat and compact ‘what you see is what you get’ netbook sort of thing.

Laptops and women can be exquisite, elegant and expensive, smooth, soft and sexy, or cheap, cheerful and cheeky. Men really are spoilt for choice.

2. Processing Power

woman whizzing around Some laptops have more processing power than others.

No one would argue that even less powerful laptops can still handle mathematical functions faster than men (OK, and women, too) but the main similarity between laptops and women regarding processing power is that even the most basic laptop can do more than one thing at a time.

Even the slowest woman can multitask. Men? Not so much.

Just take men watching sport as an example. When they’re watching the game, they don’t hear the phone or doorbell ring and you can call his name a dozen times and get no response. Everything around them is filtered out.

While there’s something to be said for such focus, there’s perhaps more to be said for the ability to multitask.

Women can watch television, surf the ‘net, write lists and send e-mails or text messages. And they’re still holding up their end of the conversation at the same time.

Even women who don’t score too highly on the intelligence quotient (i.e. have low processing power) still use a larger portion of their brains than men and brain imaging scans prove it. Women apparently have more connections between both sides of the brain than men.

Of course, some women move a bit faster on all these tasks than others, just as laptops vary in speed. Some whiz around getting things done at lightning speed, while others reluctantly plod through the day’s tasks.

Regardless, most women and laptops can process more information in a single day than the average male can get through in a week.

3. Memory Matters

male brain 204x300 10 Ways Laptops Are Like Women Most men will surely have experienced this at some point with their mother, sister, girlfriend, wife — or any other female, for that matter.

During an argument, debate or even simple conversation, a woman is able to recall not only word for word what you said two years ago last Wednesday, she also can mimic the expression you had on your face, describe what you were wearing and tell you who else was there.

The only explanation for this is that, like laptops, women have more RAM than men. Emphasis on the “random.”

4. Costs and Maintenance

sophisticated woman The sensible thing to do when buying a laptop would be to buy a model according to your budget and your needs. But, then, men aren’t always sensible.

Even if you like the idea of having a top-of-the-line model, it might be more prudent to go for the cheap and cheerful version that’s more than capable of giving you everything you need and stays within your budget.

Remember, though, that with both laptops and women appearances can be deceiving, so be careful. A lot look pretty damn good on the outside, but don’t have much going on under the hood. These models, no doubt, prove to be high maintenance in the long term.

Others may not be as aesthetically pleasing, but they will function beautifully and give you everything you could ever want and more.

It’s a sad fact there will always be men prone to splashing out more than they can realistically afford whether on their laptop or on their woman to look cool on the street. Trouble is, back at home when there’s no one to impress, they secretly wish they’d gone for something else.

5. Temperament

funny woman 230x300 10 Ways Laptops Are Like Women Some laptops have a tendency to respond well one day and simply refuse to cooperate the next — and for no apparent reason. If I’m being completely honest here, there are plenty of women like that. Mysterious creatures, we are.

It goes without saying that if you treat your laptop badly, you run the risk of it shutting down on you, when it will absolutely and resolutely refuse to play and exactly at the moment you need it most.

Women are more than capable of responding in exactly the same way. Treat them (both) well.

6. Risk of theft

man woman in love Judging by the number of laptops stolen on a daily basis, they are highly attractive to opportunist thieves. So if you pay it no mind and leave it unattended for too long, you may well find it has disappeared, and right from under your nose.

Take heed: if you take your attention off your woman for too long, don’t complain if someone else nabs her. It/s a distressing experience you won’t want to repeat.

Remember, you will never ever be able to replace everything you lost no matter how well you thought you had everything backed up. (That goes for both laptops and women.)

7. What about networking?

woman laptop Some laptops are just made to connect well with others and can significantly enhance your social life whereas other laptops only capable of only a one-on-one relationship with you, and you alone. When on the lookout for a new model, consider this point carefully.

Do you want a life in the fast lane of the information superhighway, linking up with other computers both in your house and over the World Wide Web? Or would you prefer to cozy up at home with just you and your beloved for company? Make your choice carefully as there will be trouble ahead if you change your mind after you’ve committed yourself.

8. Noise Pollution

coupleLaptop 1456988c 300x187 10 Ways Laptops Are Like Women We have to face it — noise can be a significant factor in your relationships with your laptop or your female companion.

Some laptops are so loud that they get on your nerves and you can hardly stand to keep them on. You’re in a pretty sorry state if you find yourself with a woman like that, too.

You might spend your days envying other guys who are able to sit in comfortable silence with their lover or laptop, because yours just won’t shut up no matter what you do. If this is the case, it’s probably better to ditch them both and get some peace.

9. Troubleshooting

tough woman Trouble is inevitable from time to time, to be sure. But the worst kind is when you go to turn your laptop on and it starts protesting and you hardly get anything done before it suddenly shuts down on you.

Is it your hard drive? Is there some sort of software conflict you’re unaware of? Have you forgotten an important update or done something you shouldn’t have done?

This is serious stuff as you’re left without a clue what to do to put it right and it’s going to take some time and effort to sort it out, if that’s even possible.

Better to do the proper research before bringing it home and don’t do anything at all without the correct protocols and permissions.

Oh, I was talking about the laptops there. As for women … well, I don’t think I need to repeat everything I just said.

10. Efficiency

Men just can’t function efficiently without them.